


Let it snow

by nightcloak666



Category: Free!
Genre: Babysitter!Sousuke, Christmas, Christmas present from me to my readers, Fluff, Kid!Rin, Not Romance, Rin is five, Some angst, Sousuke is fifteen, Sousuke taking care of Rin, Teenager!Sousuke, their relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-17
Updated: 2015-03-25
Packaged: 2018-03-01 20:08:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2786054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightcloak666/pseuds/nightcloak666
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sousuke desperately needed a job.<br/>Rin's mom desperately needed a babysitter.<br/>Rin is happy his friend (don't call Sousuke a babysitter, Rin is too old for one!) is a professional swimmer.<br/>And he's cool.<br/>Really cool.<br/>It's just... why Sousuke's so sad sometimes?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How it all began

“Rin, this is Sousuke.”

A small boy around five years old dressed in a school uniform just walked in the living room with his mom who had the same pink hair as him. His nose and cheeks were red from the cold. He eyed the man sitting on the sofa, who was looking at him with kind interest, a warm cup of tea in his hands. Sousuke had black hair and really cool blue eyes.

Rin loved blue.

“Hi!” Rin walked up to him and shook his warm hand. “I’m Rin.”

“Nice to meet you, Rin.”

He had a nice smile.

“Remember when I’ve told you that I will need to work longer hours at the hospital now, because of winter? I asked Sousuke if he could take care of you and he said yes.” She ruffled Rin’s hair.

His mom had a pretty smile, too.

Rin eyed Sousuke who rubbed the back of his neck a little stressed. “Do you like swimming?” Rin asked him.

“I do, yes.”

“Do you swim?”

“Yes, professionally.”

Rin gasped and then grinned. He pressed his hands against his mouth trying to contain the excitement and looked at his mom who winked to him.

“Will you teach me?” Rin tried his best smile, full teeth, eyes full of hope.

Sousuke looked surprised. “I thought you could swim already.”

“Yeah, but not professionally!”

“Oh! Yeah, of course I will.”

Rin let an excited squeak out. “What’s your favourite colour?” he asked; smile not coming off his face.

Sousuke blinked and eyed his uniform. “Blue?”

“Did you just make that up?” Rin crossed his arms over his chest, eyes narrowed.

“A little?”

“Do you like pink?”

Sousuke looked at his hair. “Is this a tricky question?”

“A little.”

Sousuke laughed. “Looks good on you.”

He had a nice laugh, too.

“I like him.” Rin turned to look at his mom who was covering her mouth trying not to laugh. “He can stay.”

“Well, then, I guess you can call yourself employed.” Rin’s mom faced Sousuke who stood up and shook her hand with a smile.

He was pretty tall, Rin noticed, looking up. Sousuke’s jacket was blue, so maybe he wasn’t completely lying after all.

“Thank you! I really appreciate it.”

He did look thankful. He seemed a little too small for a swimmer to Rin, though. What if he was lying about being a professional swimmer? Oh no. He looked pretty young, though. Maybe that was the reason he did not look like the Olympic swimmers Rin had posters of on the wall. Mom did tell him that boys couldn’t get big muscles until they’re older.

“Are you okay to start tomorrow? Rin finishes school at half past three.”

“Sure, no problem.”

“Okay, wait a second.” She went to the kitchen and came back with an envelope and a spare key. “Here is everything you need to know, and keys to the house.”

Sousuke took the key and put it inside his pocket with the envelope. “I will read everything today, you don’t need to worry.” He smiled.

“If you will have any issues then just call me, I wrote my number on the letter.”

“Mom, I’m not an issue.” Rin pouted.

“Of course you’re not an issue! I wasn’t talking about you.”

“My mom thinks I’m still a little boy.” He turned to look at Sousuke, rolling his eyes.

Sousuke nodded in understanding. He bowed a little to his mom, thanking her again and pulled his fist out letting Rin fistbumb with him. Rin did, excited.

“See you tomorrow, big man?” Sousuke asked.

“Yeah!”

“See you tomorrow, Sousuke.” She smiled, and walked him to the door. When she closed it after Sousuke, Rin let a deep sigh out.

“See, mom, he doesn’t treat me like I’m a little boy!”

“Go do your homework, Rin.” She shook her head with a smile.


	2. My new friend is a professional swimmer!

“My new friend is a professional swimmer!” Rin ran to the class the next morning and shouted to everybody after he stood on the teacher’s chair.

The kids looked at him, most of them still half asleep.

“What!”

“Yeah right!”

“Funny!”

“It’s true!” Rin stomped his foot. “He will pick me up from school today!”

“Rin, please get off my chair.” A young lady stood by him, hands on her hips.

Rin grinned and jumped off. “My new friend is a professional swimmer and he will teach me how to swim!”

“New friend?”

“YES! He will pick me up from school today!” He jumped in excitement.

“Oh.” A realisation showed up on her face. “The babysi-…” She coughed seeing his hard look. “Your mom called me about him yesterday.”

“Yes, that’s him! HE CAN SWIM!”

“That’s fantastic, now please go to your desk.” She smiled at him and he ran, his backpack jumping on his back. The kids gathered around him, now trusting that he is speaking the truth and started asking Rin about Sousuke.

*

Sousuke stood opposite to the entrance of Rin’s school. He tied the scarf tighter around his neck, the cold wind hitting him in the face, making him shiver. He was starting to get seriously jealous of the man standing near him who had a really thick coat on.

Soon, he thought. Rin’s mom was paying him pretty well. He will buy himself something warm next week. Or maybe two.

“Sou!!!”

The door opened and a happy pink haired child ran out first and jumped on his neck when he crouched to be at his level.

“Hey.” He laughed, surprised at how friendly and open he was. It was pretty adorable. He hoped the kid would always be so innocent and happy.

“Are you going to teach me how to swim now?” His small hands grasped the front of his hoodie, eyeing the bag he put on the ground. “Why you don’t have a coat? You should have a coat. Aren’t you cold?” He pouted.

“I forgot to put one on.” Sousuke smiled. “Your mom told me to just bring you home today and do homework with you, because you two are going somewhere for the weekend, right?” he asked.

Rin cheered up. “Yep! To my mom’s boyfriend,” he whispered in his ear and then put his little hand over Sousuke’s mouth. “Don’t tell her I told you.”

“Ok,” Sousuke whispered. “It will be our secret.” His voice mumbled.

Rin beamed and lifted his hand so they could fistbump.

*

“How old are you? You don’t look very old.” Rin asked when they made their way to his house, his little hand in Sousuke’s. He pulled his hat lower on his head, shivering. He was happy he had thick gloves on because Sousuke’s hand had to be like ice. How could he forget his own coat? Didn’t his mom tell him to put one on? His mom always does. He hoped his glove made him feel warmer.

“’Very old’” Sousuke laughed. “I am fifteen. Well, nearly sixteen.”

“Ohhh! When’s your birthday?”

“In January.”

“Cool, you get presents on Christmas and then on Birthday only a few weeks later!”

“When is your birthday?” Sousuke smiled.

“March!”

“That’s pretty soon, too.”

“I’d prefer during winter, I like snow! And mom could hide presents in it!”

“That would get them wet, though, wouldn’t it?”

Rin furrowed his eyebrows. “Bubble wrap?”

Sousuke shook his head in surprise. “You’re a clever boy, aren’t you?”

“Yeah!”

They were quiet for a bit, standing waiting for the green light to pass the street. Rin looked up at Sousuke who was shivering, so he put his other gloved hand over Sousuke’s too and started rubbing his hands to warm up his. Sousuke looked down stunned.

“You need gloves, too!”

“Come on.” Sousuke smiled and pulled him, Rin’s backpack on his shoulder.

*

Sousuke let a sigh out when they walked inside, the hit hitting his face. His frozen body started relaxing in the warmth. He helped Rin take the jacket, gloves and scarf off, closing his eyes when the kid shook his head, the ends of his wet hair sprinkling water on them.

“So, should we…”

Sousuke did not finish when Rin took his hand and pulled him towards upstairs.

“Come on, I will show you my room!”

Sousuke quickly took his shoes off, nearly falling since Rin did not stop pulling him and they quickly went upstairs.

“Look!” Rin opened the white door with written “Rin” in pink on it, and they walked in. His room wasn’t big but very lovely. There were a lot of posters of famous swimmers on the walls, where family pictures put up by his mom weren’t. A bed at the end of the room with lots of pillows on it and a few plush toys, fluffy light carpet, white shelves, a laptop on one, an armchair in another corner… “Do you like it?”

“It looks great.” Sousuke ruffled his hair but quickly stopped seeing Rin turning to look at him with betrayal in his eyes. “Oh, God, I am so sorry…”

“Friends don’t ruffle each others hair, Sou!” he whined.

“I am so sorry.” Sousuke put his hands up in defence. “I will remember from now on.”

Rin hugged his leg. “It’s ok, I already forgot!”

Sousuke sat down to face him properly and asked. “So, you always eat first, right?”

“Yes.” Rin smiled, cheeks red from the warmth.

“Let’s see what your mom left for you, then.”

They went downstairs, Rin jumping from each step and he ran to open the fridge. Sousuke glanced at the table and saw a letter with money on it. Seeing his name he read it.

“There’s nothing to eat!” Rin shouted closing the fridge.

“Because I am supposed to buy you pizza.” Sousuke faced him when Rin squeaked.

“COOL! I want a cheesy one! Which one do you like?” Rin climbed up the chair and grabbed Sousuke’s arm.

Sousuke scratched the back of his neck. “I will get the same one as you.”

“It’s the best one!”

Seeing Sousuke reading the letter again, like ensuring himself of something, he took the big phone and started calling for pizza himself.

“Hey, give it to me.” Sousuke laughed and took the phone, sitting down. Rin smiled cheekily and listened to Sousuke ordering.

“They’re going to be here shortly.” He put the phone down finally and turned to Rin. “What would you like to do while we’re waiting?”

“Could you show me your swimming stuff? Do you have a cool jacket? I’ve heard you get a cool jacket from school when you swim.”

Sousuke chuckled. “Yeah, you do. Wait here, I will get the bag.”

Rin clapped his hands when he returned with it and crouched to open it when Sousuke dropped it on the floor. He pulled out a black jacket with red and white stripes on arms, his eyes shining. “Can I put it on?”

“Sure.” Sousuke helped him, zipping it up and rolling up his sleeves. Rin looked very proud of himself and checked his reflection in the fridge, not minding that he nearly tripped because the jacket reached his feet.

“I will get one, too, one day!”

“Of course you will.” Sousuke smiled, sitting on the floor.

“Tell me about swimming.” Rin put his little hands on Sousuke’s cheeks, not keen on taking the jacket off. “My mom reads me books sometimes, but that’s different!”

“I will tell you everything once they deliver pizza, okay? Now I think you should change from your school clothes and I will get us drinks, how about that?”

“Ok!”


	3. Promise? Promise

Rin threw the clothes off himself and quickly changed, tripping on his feet. He ran downstairs just in time, Sousuke was taking two boxes from the delivery-man. He sat on the chair in the kitchen, legs dangling, not reaching the ground. Sousuke smiled and put the boxes in front of him.

“Be careful, it’s hot.”

“Cheeeesyyy…” Rin giggled when he opened the box and took a slice out, the cheese stretching. “I love cheese.”

Sousuke smiled and put the change and receipt he received on the table. “In case I forgot, tell your mom I’ve put it here.”

“Mommy gives me change.” Rin mumbled, mouth full.

“Does she?”

“Yeah.”

Sousuke scratched the back of his neck. “Could you wait for her then?”

Rin nodded. “Eat!”

Sousuke tickled him under his arm, making him giggle. He opened his box, the smell hitting his nose, making him swallow hard. Ok, he though. Slowly. Don’t make a scene.

He tried not to moan when he took the first bite. He could not remember the last time he had something warm to eat. Especially this good.

*

Rin was a clever boy so he finished his homework quickly. He did not want to get ready for the bed but when Sousuke promised him a movie downstairs under the blankets, he quickly changed his mind. Really, his mother’s tips were working smoothly.

Sousuke tried not to laugh when Rin started singing in the bath, playing with his cars and boats, building a hat of bubbles on Sousuke’s head. This kid was constantly laughing, finding everything hilarious. Sousuke forgot about the whole world with him. All the sadness, problems, troubles were gone when Rin laughed.

When Rin was finally done he quickly dressed up and ran to his room [does this kid ever not runs? Where he takes all this energy from?] He grabbed the blankets and threw at him, then took the DVD from the shelf and they went upstairs.

Rin ran to the kitchen and handed Sousuke the bag of popcorn to do, and took two plastic cups himself and placed them on the small table in the living room.

Sousuke brought the popcorn in a bowl and placed on Rin’s knees who made himself comfortable under the blankets. After finally figuring out how the DVD works he started the movie.

Relaxing in a warm home was a dream. But he could feel his eyes closing, Rin throwing warm blankets on him definitely not helping. He straightened up, hoping it will help. Luckily Rin was quickly falling asleep on him, fighting but losing the fight with sleep. Sousuke smiled when he started snoring and picked him up to carry to his bed. As quietly as possible he walked upstairs and then placed him on the bed in his room, drawing the blankets over him. Sousuke brushed his pink hair back from his little face. What a precious kiddo.

*

Sousuke slowly walked downstairs and took the bowl and cups to wash them in the sink. He turned the DVD off, made the blankets, everything just to not fall asleep. He knew he will fall asleep if he will just sit down but at the same time he did not want to act like it was his house touching everything, so he just sat on the chair in the kitchen and hoped to not fall asleep.

*

Rin’s mom walked quietly in, knowing Rin has to be asleep already. She was later than she was supposed to, and she wasn’t so sure anymore whether she really had to stay or she just wanted Sousuke to stay in the house as long as possible.

Her friend told her about Sousuke when she heard about her looking for a babysitter, preferably a swimmer. He took care of her kid for a few days when her nanny left for a holiday. If not contract then she would change from her to Sousuke quickly, seeing how badly he needed money and simply for the fact that he was great with kids and very, very kind. But she had to be fair, and she never promised anything to Sousuke.

She knew mostly about Sousuke from gossip. Sousuke never met his mother. She left the kid with the father who was drinking and not doing anything else. Sousuke apparently started swimming so he could take a warm shower at school in the morning. And the swimmers were receiving some sort of healthy bars to gain weight that they could turn into muscles. She did not want to ask her friend if it was the only thing that he was eating. But he apparently refused to come to dinners her friend offered to him.

He was lucky that he turned out to be talented. He was most likely counting days when he will turn eighteen and leave, sponsored by one of the universities. But that was still two years away and she gladly invited him for an interview.

She did notice the lack of winter jacket but he dissed her question saying he forgot about it.

No one forgets to dress themselves up. He looked frozen, tired, and malnourished. But she had to think about Rin, too, so when luckily Sousuke turned out to be the kindest boy and Rin nearly threw himself in his arms, she employed him without a second thought.

And of course left money for two pizzas the next day.

If he refused to come to dinners, she obviously had to be as subtle as possible.

She smiled sadly seeing him sleeping, cheek on the table. He clearly did not want to fall asleep. She went upstairs to check on Rin, who turned out to be sound asleep, too, arms stretched. She closed the door after him and went to wake Sousuke up. As much as she wanted him to get some sleep he clearly needed, dark shadows under his eyes, she did not want him to go home too late either.

“Sousuke…” She touched his shoulder, shaking him a little.

He jerked awake pretty suddenly, looked unconsciously around and finally spotted her, face terrified. “Oh my god, I am so sorry!” He croaked out. “I wasn’t supposed to fall asleep, I promise it won’t ever happen again, please don’t kick…”

“Hey, calm down.” She touched his cheek, seeing him panicking. “It’s ok. You haven’t done anything wrong. I am sorry that I am late.” She smiled, trying to calm him down. “Tell me, did you enjoy today?”

“Yeah.” He smiled, eyes tired. “Rin’s a treasure. He’s really perfect.”

She laughed quietly. “He’s also pretty exhausting, I know.”

“I’m not exh… something.” They heard and both jumped startled.

Rin waved to them from the stairs, clutching a plushy shark, hair pointing in all the possible directions.

“Shouldn’t you be asleep.” His mom put hands on her hips but did not stop smiling when he ran to Sousuke and climbed up his lap. He pressed his cheek to Sousuke’s, arms around his neck. Sousuke looked a little surprised but brought his arms around him, too, to hold him steady.

“Can Sousuke stay?”

“Oh, hey,” Sousuke laughed nervously and ruffled his hair. “I will see you on Monday… I mean.” He looked at Rin’s mom quickly, losing his voice for a second. “I mean if you still… I’m sorry I should have asked first…”

“Of course I want you to come on Monday.” She smiled.

“But I want Sousuke to stay.” Rin pouted.

“Sousuke has his home.” She did notice how Sousuke looked away when she said that. God, this kid has a home, right? “He needs to go back there.”

“But I want you to stay.” Rin’s chin shook, eyes filling with tears.

“Hey.” Sousuke hugged him tighter, Rin brought his arms around his neck again, quiet sobs escaping his body. “You’re going to sleep now anyway, and you have a fun weekend ahead of you, you won’t even notice me gone. I will see you again soon.”

“Promise?” Rin lifted his hand to fistbump with Sousuke who did gladly.

“Promise.”


	4. Trust

Sousuke lifted Rin and brought him upstairs to place him on the bed once again, Rin drooling on his shoulder. He covered him with blankets, and then quickly walked downstairs, not wanting Rin’s mother to think he is extending his time for money, or something like that. He needed this job to live.

“I am sorry, I am going, just…” Before she could say anything back he grabbed his scarf and quickly wrapped it around his neck.

“Sousuke?”

“Yes?” He turned back to face her and she walked up to him with money in her hand.

“This is for today.” She smiled but he looked at her surprised.

“But you said you’re going to pay weekly, I only…”

“It’s Friday, isn’t? There’s no point in keeping this money until next Friday.” She caught his hand and put money in it.

“Are you sure?”

She closed his hand around the money and then stroked his cheek. “Rin will see you on Monday, half past three, like today, yes?”

“Of course.” He quickly nodded. “Thank you so much, this job is really important to me.”

“Well, as you see Rin does not imagine his life without you already, so you don’t need to worry about losing it.” She smiled but then got jokingly serious. “Of course, that does not mean I won’t watch you. I want my baby to be treated like he is the most precious little boy on this world.”

“Yes, miss.” He bowed a little.

“Now off you go. I don’t want you to go home too late.” She smiled kindly.

Sousuke nodded and walked out, saying goodnight. She sighed seeing the lack of jacket again. She wanted to give him more money so he could buy something but knew he won’t take it and she will most likely scare him off. Not only she would put him in a difficult situation but make her little Rin mad.

She prayed he would be okay over the weekend.

*

Sousuke ran to his father’s flat and quickly walked inside, sighing with relief when he saw an empty room. Luckily his father was away. He hid his bag under the books and a few clothes. Then he started cleaning up everything, throwing bottles and other trash away. Then came cleaning of the floors, water freezing his hands. Random clothes all over the place were quickly put in place. He threw himself on the thin mattress, pretending to be asleep the second the loose handle moved.

‘Just go to sleep.’ Sousuke closed his eyes tight, begging in his mind. ‘Just go to sleep.’ He breathed out when his father walked by and closed the door after himself to the only room in the flat. His, and only his.

Sousuke curled up in the kitchen/living room, whatever this place was supposed to be, trying to ignore the cold wind. He wondered if new windows were expensive. Well, blankets were probably cheaper. He wished he had one.

Sousuke pulled out the money Rin’s mom gave him. He did not know what to do with them. Save them for food? Save them for the winter jacket? Save them for windows? It’s selfish to buy blankets only for himself instead of saving for windows that would be advantageous for both of them, but his father was never cold, warming himself up with alcohol. He did not care, being drunk.

The problem was that he’d probably take the blankets for himself the second he’d notice them. He’d sell his winter jacket. And Sousuke would probably get punched for buying something for himself.

His father would not sell windows. But that would mean long weeks of saving; no jacket, no blankets, and no meals.

God, he hated winter.

*

“Mom?”

“Goodness, Rin.” His mom jumped startled when she heard his quiet voice from under the blankets. “Why are you still not sleeping?” She put her hand on his forehead, brushing his hair back.

“Does Sousuke have a mommy?”

She sighed to herself and sat by him. “Why are you asking?”

“He did not have a winter jacket and it was cold,” he mumbled. “He said he forgot to put it on. But you always tell me to dress up. That’s a mommy thing.”

She petted his hair, smiling sadly, not knowing what to tell him. He was too little to understand, yet too clever to not notice and fully believe the little lies Sousuke already told him.

“No, he only has a dad.”

“Dads don’t tell you to put jackets on?”

“Maybe his dad is really busy and wasn’t there to tell him.” She smiled at him.

“Maybe…” He cuddled up in his warm blankets, comfortable bed, clutching his plushie. “I like Sousuke, I don’t want him to be cold.”

“Did you two have fun today?” God, she did not want that child to be cold either. But what could she do?

“He showed me his swimming stuff,” he whispered like it was their secret. “I wore his jacket!”

She gasped in awe. “That’s amazing!” She hoped Sousuke was okay with Rin wearing his jacket probably every single day from now on. It’s definitely going to happen.

“And we ate pizza! And he let me build a bubble hat on his head. You never do.” He pointed his small finger at her.

“Because he does not spend an hour styling his hair, you know.” She pointed her finger at him, making him giggle.

“Ohhh! He told me to tell you he left the change on the table!” He reminded himself.

“Did you tell him I always give it to you?”

“Yes, but he asked if I could wait for you so you could give it to me.” He furrowed his eyebrows, confused.

“Oh.” She was surprised. “That’s really nice of him.” The fact that a boy would take even such small amount so seriously… on the other hand, he definitely respected every penny and simply wanted to be fair, no matter the amount. It was obvious this job was everything to him and he did not want to make any mistakes, terrified she won’t want him anymore. 

“Why?”

“Because I told him to buy pizza, so he did not do anything else with the money, just left the rest to me. It wasn’t his money to give and he respected that.”

Rin was quiet for a moment, thinking.

“Ohh, Sousuke was scared you will think he steals?” Rin asked suddenly. “But he wouldn’t steal! He’s nice! And I’d tell you he gave it to me!”

She did not really consider that before Rin mentioned it. But it was more likely that Sousuke did not give money to Rin so she won’t think Sousuke took it, instead of respecting such a tiny amount so much that he did not give it to her own child. Seeing how Sousuke wanted to make sure that she wouldn’t think of him as a thief, that she would trust him, now she realised that unlike her he did remember about the stereotypes. A poor boy, of course he expected her to think he will steal. God… In all fairness she would probably prefer him to steal something once from her so he could get a warm jacket for himself. It made her feel cold seeing him going out without one.

But he did not know what she was thinking, and he obviously cared the most about keeping his job. He simply seemed to like Rin, too.

“Of course he would not.” She kissed the top of Rin’s head. “Now, off to sleep. We need to take the early train tomorrow.”

He pouted but then kissed her cheek and said; “Night, mommy!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to every single person that left a kudo, and especially to those who also commented! I also see quite a few subscribers and bookmarks, that makes me really happy! Thank you <333


	5. Surprise!

“Are you ready, Sousuke?”

Standing by his locker Sousuke turned to face his captain.

“Of course. Ready to win.”

The captain grinned at him and showed him a thumb up. Finally they all gathered and walked out of the changing room to the swimming pool, hearing cheering. Sousuke stood right behind the captain when he heard a loud ‘Sousuke! Sousuke!’. Confused he lifted his head and looked around until he heard his name even louder and realised it’s someone from the audience. His jaw dropped when he saw Rin sitting on shoulders of a man and his mom standing right by him. They were waving to him, Rin had pompons on his hands. The man was holding him tight so he wouldn’t fell while dancing on his shoulders.

“Who is that?” The captain smiled, turning to look at him.

Dumbfounded Sousuke lifted his hand to wave back to them. What were they doing here?

“It’s that little boy I am taking care of…”

“Well, now you definitely need to win.” He grinned and put his goggled on. “See you later.”

Sousuke could not stop smiling, his heart beating faster. He couldn’t believe they were seriously here, cheering for him. Not once he had anyone in the audience wishing him luck…

He took the place, focused more than ever. He had to win this time, for them.

*

“Sousuke!”

He spread his arms and caught Rin, laughing and returning the hug the kid gave him.

“Hey, kiddo! What are you doing here!”

“I told mommy you are racing today! That was so cool! And you won! We need to celebrate!” His cheeks were red from excitement. He took the medal dangling on Sousuke’s neck in his hands, mouth open, eyes big. Sousuke smiled and put it over his head, making him squick.

“Sousuke.”

He quickly looked up to see Rin’s mom and her partner.

“Ms Matsuoka. Sir.” Sousuke bowed to her and the man.

“Congratulations on your win.” She smiled brightly; the man pulled his hand out to shake his. “What a beautiful race!”

“Thank you so much.” Sousuke could not stop grinning. He did not know how to thank them, show them how much it all meant to him. “I did not expect…”

“Of course you did not. It was supposed to be a surprise.” She ruffled his hair, making him nearly jump in shock. “Rin told us your race is in the evening on Sunday, so we decided to bring Shiro with us back to Tokyo instead of staying in the village. You impressed us a lot.”

“Was it a nice surprise?” Rin showed his white little teeth in a wide smile.

“Nice? It was the best surprise.” He choked a little. Sousuke was having a hard time trying not to start crying in front of them, moved by their gesture. He swallowed hard, blinking back tears, turning his head away for a second.

Rin hugged him, his cheek pressed against Sousuke’s.

“Thank you.” Sousuke said again.

“It was the best way to spend this evening.” The man smiled kindly. He looked like a nice guy, blue eyes, black hair, pale and tall. He seemed to be training something, being wide in the shoulders, handshake strong. “Anyway! We should have a dinner.”

“Oh yeah, sorry.” Sousuke straightened up and ruffled Rin’s hair. “I will see you tomorrow, right?” He smiled at him.

“Oh, no, you’re invited, too, of course!” The man quickly corrected himself.

Sousuke looked at him confused. “Me?”

“Of course, we’re celebrating your win after all. You have to go with us!” Rin’s mom brushed a strand of his hair behind his ear, clearly not put off by the way he jerked in shock earlier.

“But, I…” Sousuke gaped at them, starting to panic. “… I really can’t go.”

“Why?” Rin whined in his ear and made big pleading eyes.

“I really need to go home. And I did not bring any money anyway.” He quickly explained.

“We’re paying, Sousuke…”

“No…”

“Sousuke, pleaseeee.” Rin pressed his cheek against his, cuddling up.

“I really can’t. Truly.”

He could not go. Not only they looked like people who go to good restaurants and his knowledge how to act appropriately in such was weak, but he’d look homeless by their side in his washed out, torn clothes. And he had no money. He won’t let them pay for him, he was supposed to work for them, not feed off them like a leech.

“Sousuke, sweetie…” Ms Matsuoka tried again.

“I really can’t, I am sorry. Thank you so much for coming, if there’s anything I could do in return…”

“Sousuke, don’t even say things like that.” Rin’s mom scolded him. “We’re really happy we could spend this evening cheering for you. Rin really wanted to see you.” She smiled when Rin quickly nodded, showing her the medal. “Are you sure you can’t go?”

Sousuke shook his head. God, he wanted to. He knew them for such a short time but it already hurt staying behind. But they weren’t his family. They were his employers. He did not belong in their world.

And he never will.

“Okay,” Shiro sighed. “Can we at least give you a lift home?”

Oh God, no.

“No, I need to talk with the captain and all.” Sousuke waved his hand dismissively. “But thank you.” He smiled trying to look as honest as possible.

“Okay then.” Shiro extended his hand and shook Sousuke’s. “I will probably see you tomorrow, too, since I am staying over for a few days.”

“Will you pick me up from school tomorrow, like on Friday?” Rin whispered in Sousuke’s ear.

“Of course,” he whispered back.

Rin clapped his hands and then took the medal off his neck to put it over Sousuke’s. After a quick goodbye, and Rin’s mom try to make him change his mind, they went.

Sousuke watched them go with a sad smile on his face.

*

Sousuke closed the door to his father’s flat after himself, shivering. It was getting colder day by day, his father opening all the windows just to make him feel even worse wasn’t helping. After closing them he made his way over to his corner in the kitchen and sat on the thin mattress to quickly put another jumper on himself, puffing in his hands trying to make them warmer, ignoring how purple his fingers were. He hugged his knees.

Sousuke cringed hearing his dad’s footsteps and took a deep breath in. It was too early to pretend to be asleep. He’d only piss him off.

He walked inside, loudly shutting the door after himself. Apart from the usual smell of alcohol, Sousuke could smell… food. His father brought food?!

Sousuke lifted his head in surprise, still shaking from the cold, the flat refusing to warm up even with the windows closed, and watched as he walked past him over to his room without sparing a look at him. Sousuke laughed quietly at his own stupidity, not knowing what he even expected for a second.

The medal he forgot to take off dangled on his neck uselessly. He took it in his hands. Starring at it he wondered how much he would get for one this time.

Hopefully enough for a meal.

His stomach growled, so he lay down after hiding the medal in his bag, under his clothes. He hugged himself tight and closed his eyes.

At least tomorrow he will see Rin.


	6. Do you want to build a snowman?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to amazing @ion4ever who drew this beautiful piece for me :)  
>   
> http://nightcloak.tumblr.com/post/106567210307/nightcloak-ion4ever-happy-holidays

“Sousuke!”

He smiled when the little pink haired boy ran towards him and finally jumped in his arms. He hugged him tight.

“Hey, Rin.” Sousuke looked at him grinning, with his arms around his neck. “So, what would you like to do today?” He let him stand on the ground.

“Build a snowman!!” Rin said excited. “Sousuke, you forgot your jacket again!”

“I know!” He waved his hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about it. I want to build a snowman, too, should we do it in your garden so you can show it to your mom later?”

“Yes! But aren’t you going to be cold?” He tugged at his thin blue hoodie.

“Nope. Come on, before it’s going to get dark.” Sousuke took his hand and they made their way towards the house.

*

They were laughing together, gathering snow to build not one but two snowmen. Rin decided that there are two of them so they need two snowmen. Simple. Of course Sousuke was tall so his had to be taller than Rin’s. After getting carrots from the kitchen and black coal from the fireplace, their snowmen were done. Rin quickly found a camera and took a picture.

Then came a fight. Sousuke could not remember the last time he had so much fun. Running around, throwing snowballs at each other, falling in snow and making angels. He did not even feel cold.

When it started getting dark they went inside, and put the fire on in the fireplace. Sousuke was shaking badly, now the cold really getting to him. Luckily Rin did not mind staying by the fire for some time, his cheeks returning to a normal colour.

“Do you want a blanket?” Rin asked.

“No, it’s f-ine.” Sousuke smiled, his voice breaking a little. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to stay outside for so long. “Are you hungry?”

“Yes!”

“Let’s warm up your food, then.” Sousuke stood up and quickly caught the edge of the frame around the fireplace, when his vision went dark for a few seconds. Shit.

Luckily Rin did not notice anything, running to the kitchen to pull food out of the fridge. Sousuke quickly helped him by taking a pan out of the cupboard and heated it up, throwing the food on it. God it smelled good. His stomach growled again.

“Are you okay?” He heard a quiet voice by his side and nearly jumped. Rin stood by his legs and lifted his head to look at him.

“I’m fine, what’s wrong?” Sousuke asked, kneeling.

“You look sad.” Rin pouted. “I don’t want you to be sad.”

“I am not sad.” Sousuke smiled, stroking his cheek. “Where that came from?”

Rin shrugged but slipped his arms around his neck to hug him. “You’re cold.”

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me.” Sousuke petted his hair. “I will get your food ready, sit down.” He smiled at him again.

“You’re not eating?” Rin took a fork in his hand, looking confused.

Sousuke paused. “I already ate.” He put the food on a plate and put it in front of Rin.

Rin watched him as he sat opposite to him.

Sousuke cocked an eyebrow seeing him wanting to ask something but Rin shook his little head and started eating. Sousuke rubbed his hands together under the table, feeling them getting cold. He surely had to have a screwed up body temperature, why was he getting cold again in the warm house? Ugh.

He was so hungry.

“Sousuke?”

“Yes?”

“Could you bring the medal tomorrow so I can look at it again?” Rin showed his little teeth in a smile.

Sousuke felt something in his stomach flip. Oh God. He gaped.

“I told everyone at school that I went to see you and they don’t believe me that you really swim and won and I thought that if I will bring the medal…” Rin blushed.

“Oh. I will… I will try to bring it tomorrow, okay?” Sousuke smiled weakly. He prayed the guy did not sell the medal already. Luckily he had money to give back since he did not have time to buy anything yet, even a meal, but he doubted he’d get it for the same price for which he sold it. He could already see the man telling him to work long ass hours at his company.

Everybody knew the man did not just own one company and he was probably getting more money from selling stuff illegally. It was easy to get money from him, without any taxes, so no one busted him. He was also a bastard and once you got in trouble with him, you were done.

Sousuke started selling his medals a long time ago. He wasn’t sure whether he was getting a good price for them – he probably wasn’t. But what could he do. He wasn’t an adult yet, he couldn’t do much. He knew the guy’s factory was the only place where he could get a proper job, the man not caring that he was underage, but he also knew it meant working whole nights – and as motivated as he was, he also was motivated to pass school. He had to, he could not sleep through his classes. He could not only bet on getting scouted – as much as he loved swimming, as hard as he worked, Sousuke knew that with the way he was living, even the simple fact that he wasn’t eating enough meant that he could fail one day. He could feel his body giving up already. If he will fail, then he needs a plan B. And that was receiving support on another curse which could only be accomplished with best grades.

Rin smiled wide at him, making him smile in return.

Eh, even if he will need to work a few nights it will be worth it just to see this kiddo this happy. Sousuke was glad that Rin wouldn’t ever need to worry about money. About his clothes looking too washed out and being too torn to not have people look at him in pity. No one will comment on his too skinny body, because his won’t be. He won’t know hunger, sleeping in cold, lifting his drunk father from the floor and getting hit the next morning for daring to touch him.

Sometimes Sousuke wondered what he did wrong to deserve it. He had to do something wrong.

But he was happy it was him, not Rin going through hell.


	7. Dizziness

When Rin went to sleep Sousuke took his own books out and started doing his homework. Even doing an English essay seemed fun when you could sit by a fireplace, it warming your back.

He did not want to fall asleep and needed something to do since the hunger was starting to be too much. Maybe he should have eaten a little. Rin’s mom would not even notice. There was a lot more food in the pan, but that meant nothing. It was probably for her and her partner.

Besides, it would not be enough to feel any close to full, anyway. What was the point of eating a little, being hungry anyway, and risking losing a job because of it? Hell no.

He slid on the floor, put the book on the stones around the fireplace, scribbling. It was difficult to make your brain work feeling sick, even though the question was not hard. ‘What’s your dream?” Sousuke sighed. Swim. Leave. As far away as possible. Be born as someone else. Be gone…

He wondered if it was true that people re-born. If he’d die, would he have luck to be born in a normal family, where he could swim not worrying about anything else? With his luck life would probably kick him in another way. Maybe break his shoulder?

He snorted. It was better to just die and disappear forever.

Sousuke closed his eyes feeling the view darkening again and slowly put his head in his arms, resting for a few seconds. He hoped it was from hunger and being tired, not from getting hit in the morning. His father never really hit him before. He was disgusted with him so he did not touch him. But since he started taking drugs he became violent. So far mainly throwing stuff around when he had no money, but when Sousuke tried to get him off the floor today he got mad and hit him in the back of his head. It still hurt.

He fell asleep before he could stop it.

*

“Be quiet, Rin should be asleep by now.” She whispered as they walked in and started taking their coats off. “Oh, baby.” A sigh escaped her throat seeing Sousuke sleeping by the fireplace.

“I guess not only Rin.” He smiled. “I wonder what put him to sleep…” He curiously picked at the title of the essay. “What’s you dream?”

“What did he write?” She asked.

“I don’t know; he is sleeping on it. Should I wake him up?”

She stopped in the middle of the living room and looked unsurely at him.

“Oh come on, Mai. He has to go home.”

“I don’t think he has home,” she said quietly.

“Where is he sleeping then?” He furrowed his eyebrows in concern.

“From what I found out he lives in some flat with his father who is a drunk… Shiro, he does not even have a winter jacket…”

He bit his lip. “What if his father will get mad at this kid for not coming home?”

“He looks so tired…” She softly brushed Sousuke’s hair back from his face. “Maybe he will wake up himself soon?”

“I don’t mind him staying but you will feel bad if he’s going to get…” He stopped, eyes on Sousuke’s neck as Mai continued on brushing his hair.

“What?”

He kneeled by them and brushed Sousuke’s hair back from his neck. “Look.”

She got a little closer and noticed the red bruise.

“It’s fresh.” She caressed it, touch soft. “He’s not going home.”

“Mai, maybe he was in a fight…”

“No.” She stood up, face unreadable. “Lye him down on the sofa, I will bring a blanket. Don’t wake him up.” She quickly made her way upstairs.

He sighed and put his hand under Sousuke’s knees and behind his back. He lifted him with surprising ease. For a swimmer this boy was definitely too thin. Sousuke did not react to him lifting him at all. He put him on the sofa and took the blanket from Mai who just showed up with three.

“What? He’s still probably frozen,” she explained and tucked him in properly, smiling when he unconsciously hugged the pillow.

“Come on, we need to talk.” Shiro pulled her away by the arm towards the kitchen. “What are you planning to do? If he is abusing him then we need to call the police, not make him stay so this bastard will hurt him more once he goes back home,” he whispered.

“You know how many abused children I’ve treated? Do you know how many of them said yes, my parents did it, please help me? Especially when they weren’t little anymore.” She hid her face in hands, shaking her head. “I will try to talk to him but I fear he will just run away.”

They both looked up hearing a little movement. Sousuke lifted his head from the pillow, eyes looking around confused.

“Sousuke.” Mai and Shiro stood up and approached him. That’s when it hit Sousuke that he was sleeping and he quickly sat up, eyes frightened.

“I…”

“Sousuke, calm down…”

“What…”

“Listen, we’ve put you here.” She walked up to him seeing him panicking.

“What time is it?” He choked out, looking for a clock.

“It’s nine…”

“I need to go…” Sousuke paled and quickly stood up. Everything went black so quickly he just felt them both catching him.

“Sit down, sit down, Sousuke look at me.” He felt her hands on his cheeks. Sousuke blinked hoping the vision will return but he just felt worse. They pushed him into laying position and he had no strength to stop them.

“I need to go…” he whispered, closing his eyes. “I need…”

“Sousuke, no.” She put her hand on his forehead, feeling it warming up. “I am not letting you go anywhere.”

Shiro sat by him and sighed seeing him murmuring something, too weak to get up.

“I need to go,” Sousuke said in a weak voice. “He’s going to be mad. He’s going… Please.” He looked at her pleadingly.

“Sousuke, you don’t have strength to even sit. Tell me, is he going to look for you?”

He shook his head.

“We can call your dad that you’re here…”

“NO!”

They held him down when he tried to lift himself again, and he choked. “Please don’t tell him. Don’t. Please!”

“Okay, it’s okay, we won’t.” Shiro grasped his arms holding him down meaning the touch to be as light as possible.

“Does he know you’re working here?” Mai asked.

Sousuke shook his head, closing his eyes. She put her hand over his forehead again and then with a sigh stroked his cheek.

“You’re getting sick. I won’t ask you questions today, I want you to rest but tomorrow…”

“He’s a drunk, nothing else.” He whispered, swallowing hard. She noticed how chapped his lips were and told Shiro to get him a drink. “He won’t look for me. But he will get angry tomorrow when he will see me.”

“I am going to go with you then.”

Sousuke looked even more terrified. “No…”

“Sousuke, you need help,” she said kindly.

“I am fine!” He looked ready to cry, panicking more. “Please just let me go.”

“Sousuke, is your dad hurting you?”

He shook his head quickly, face determined. She wondered how many times someone asked him and tried to help only to hear ‘no’. It was so usual for kids that were dealing with abuse for awhile to not want to admit it. They thought they could survive anything. That their parents would never get any worse. And they were already used to what they have, not even knowing how they should be treated at that point. What they had was normal to them. Scared what would happen if their parents would be taken away. It’s bad but what if it would get worse? Constant abuse cruelly strips the child of any self-confidence and feeling of worth, too, making them depressed and worse.

“Sousuke, we just want to help you.” Shiro let him sit up so he could take a sip of the hot tea, his hands shaking so Mai helped him hold it and Shiro put his hand on his back.

“Then let me go,” Sousuke said quietly.

Mai could feel her heart breaking. She could not force the child to stay in her house. She knew by doing it his father might find out and she would lose all the contact with Sousuke and become completely incapable of helping him. She wanted to go to the police but what could they do if Sousuke would tell them nothing is wrong? He’d end up in an orphanage even lonelier, there they would not let him work and keep money and he’d lose contact with them. Everybody knew the orphanages were another hell.

She exchanged a desperate look with Shiro.

“Okay…” she agreed, not believing she is doing it.

Sousuke breathed out, relaxing.

“But first you will drink this tea and I will give you a few medications that you will take. If you will feel worse tomorrow we’re going to go to the doctors.”

He nodded slowly.

“Have you eaten anything today?” Shiro asked.

Another nod.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay?” She was pretty much begging.

Sousuke shook his head and put the cup away. He stood up slowly, knowing they’re watching.

“Thank you for everything, please don’t pity me, everything is okay.” He smiled unsurely and made his way towards the fireplace to grab his things. Mai went to the kitchen to grab a few medications and then put them in his hand so he could put them in his bag. He bowed a little to them and then went to the door and he was gone.

“Pity him. That’s what he cares about.” She sat slowly on the sofa, feeling like she lost a fight.

“He did not have a jacket with him,” he said, eyes still on the door.

She hid her face in her hands. “If something is going to happen to him I won’t ever forgive myself.”

“You could not make him stay. We’d probably make it worse. Now he will go to sleep and then school. If he’d stay he’d get an argument or worse tomorrow.” He sat by her and put her arm around her shoulders. “Maybe it’s not that bad… He is ill so he got dizzy. I doubt the man would hurt him knowing he swims so everybody would see…”

“Unless he does not know Sousuke swims,” she interrupted. “You don’t even believe in what you are saying yourself, Shiro.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are very appreciated xxxx
> 
> Also there's a new fic coming and it's going to be called The Dark Arts. SouRin Harry Potter AU :)


	8. Panic

When the temperature went down even more, Sousuke bit his tongue and finally went to the cheapest second-hand shop to get himself a jacket. He did not choose the warmest to pay less, but at least got one that wasn’t completely ruined instead. It meant cutting a meal or two, but he preferred to do that than to freeze for a longer time. Not only he was constantly sick and getting pills from Rin’s mom did not help anymore, but it simply was too cold and the terrifying looks he was receiving were getting too much.

He did not want Rin’s mom to be called out on using him and not paying, or anything like that either.

There was also the fact that he had long hours at the company’s hall where they did not know about heaters. Kidding, kidding, they did but who would waste money on illegal workers. He did get his medal back and Rin’s face as he saw it and then came back all proud of himself from school was worth it. Even though Sousuke was not sure how many more sleepless nights were before him.

He learned a technique. Everyday Rin went to sleep at seven. That left him around three hours before Rin’s mom came back from the hospital. He slept for those three hours in the warm house, and then had nearly a full hour before work to clean the house for his father and show him that he’s in. His father was asleep moments later and never noticed him leaving. Fifteen minutes were enough to run to work. He always finished at six, so that left him two hours to do homework before school.

Everything was working perfectly.

Until he swam one day and they had to pull him out when his body gave up and everything went dark.

*

He could not remember much from that day. At one point he was swimming then it was nothing. He opened his eyes at some place he later found out was a hospital. Much later, though, because the first time he tried to focus, he was out seconds later. The second time he realised he was warm and on a very comfortable bed and something annoyingly beeped. But he could not see. The third time he could remember feeling sick, shaking and crying. He never felt more alone and scared. It was like nightmares were everywhere, and there was nothing else but darkness all around him, the feeling of falling making him panic. Someone held him then and he slowly calmed down but he could not recall who it was later.

He wasn’t sure what terrified him so much that night.

Sousuke opened his eyes and sighed in relief when there was just a little blurriness in his vision, and it did not go dark seconds later. His body felt heavy, he tried to lift himself, but couldn’t. There were IVs in his arms and hands, more cables on his chest and he cringed when he felt that oxygen mask on his face. He knew all these things, not the first time he was in the hospital.

Great.

“Sousuke, you’re awake.” He jumped a little startled when he noticed Rin’s mother standing by him. Okay, so maybe his vision was still a little off.

He tried to respond but he couldn’t and instead a little frustrated sound left his throat. She put her hand on his forehead and either her hand was really cold, or he was still very warm.

“Shh.” She smiled and sat by him on the side of the bed and put her hand on his cheek. “Don’t talk, just rest. You’re still very weak.”

“R… Rin…” He wasn’t sure why he thought of the kid first.

“He’s okay, don’t worry.” Sousuke watched her reaching for something on his other side. He blinked when he noticed a little white shark plushie that was definitely Rin’s. It was his favourite toy, what was it doing here?

“I could not let him see you on ICU so he gave me this to give it to you.” She handed it to him and he took the toy unsurely, tearing up. “Hey, kid.” She stroked his cheek again. “Everything is going to be okay, don’t worry.”

He wasn’t sure what she was talking about, eyelids becoming too heavy to keep them up. His hands were shaking on the plushie and more tears escaped his eyes when she hugged him.

Truly hugged him. He did not know what to do. He could not remember if anyone ever hugged him, but Rin’s mom was not confused by his lack of reaction and smiled at him, petting his hair.

“Get some sleep, you should feel better later.”

*

Sousuke opened his eyes some time later, feeling better. The oxygen mask wasn’t on his face anymore, he felt some little tubes instead. Rin’s mom came over with another doctor this time and told him what he expected to hear.

He exhausted himself and let himself be sick for too long. Well, it wasn’t shocking. Working, not eating, not healing, not sleeping…

He was supposed to be happy his heart did not give up.

The doctor told him he would have to spend a few more days at the hospital. He did not even fight back. He had no strength anymore and he needed to be healthy to come back to his usual daily life. In truth, he just wanted to fall asleep and never wake up.

“Tell me, Sousuke, is taking care of Rin too much?” Rin’s mom sat by his side, eyes concerned. “We can change the plan at any time…”

“No, please.” He looked at her pleadingly. “It’s not Rin. I need this job, please.”

“How did this happen then?” She asked.

Sousuke shut his mouth.

“I won’t tell anyone, I promise.” She ensured him, checking all the little tubes in his arm.

“I just wanted to do too much at once.” He shrugged. “Got myself another job and…”

“When did you find time to work?”

“During night,” he murmured, not looking at her.

“Sousuke,” she sighed, closing her eyes for a moment. “You’re a fifteen years old boy. You can’t do this to yourself. I understand you need money but why didn’t you tell me? I’d give you more…”

“No.” He shook his head, jaw clenched. “It’s not… I’m fine.” He cut her, hoping it will end the conversation. She did not need to know it was for Rin. “I’m fine.” He added more to himself than her, turning his head away.

Sousuke flinched when she touched his hand.

“There’s nothing wrong with asking for help. I am here for you, Sousuke.” She stroked his hand, seeing his chin shaking again as he angrily wiped the tears off his face. “And there’s nothing wrong with crying, either.”

“I don’t cry,” he choked.

He hated what was going on. He always had everything under control. He knew how to deal with the life he had, it wasn’t perfect but he was dealing with everything. Only three more years and he would be free, pursuing his career. In the university, he would get a proper job because he could this time, maybe one day he would become rich and never have to worry about money again.

Sousuke was slowly losing control of everything and it made him panic. He doesn’t cry, he never did, he hated it. It made him weak. He wasn’t weak!

“Sousuke, please.” She petted his hair, look concerned. “Let me help.”


	9. Rin's plans and no more suffering

Sousuke lifted himself up on the pillows, wincing a little. His whole body was still in pain and he could do little apart from sitting. Not once he was sick but he could not recall the time he lost strength completely. Most of the time he pulled through an illness while still taking care of the flat, going to school…

At least his father did not visit drunk. Sometimes he was happy that he barely remembered that he had a son.

He turned on his side and smiled noticing the little shark plushie that Rin left him. It was amazing; the boy was so attached to the toy and this is the one he decided to give him for the time he was at the hospital?

He was such a clever kid. Sousuke not once read that kids know better than adults, really. In a way it would be weird if Rin did not notice that there was something seriously wrong. They were spending a lot of time together after all.

Sousuke was falling asleep again when he heard knocking so he turned to face the door.

“Rin?!” Sousuke gasped surprised when it opened and the little boy walked inside, big smile on his face. His mother was right behind him and she laughed when Rin ran up to him. She quickly helped him to climb up the bed when he struggled and he jumped on Sousuke’s neck, squeaking his name.

“Hey.” Sousuke was so happy to see the little ball of sunshine and he hugged him tight, ignoring how his arms shook a little. “What are you doing here?” He stopped himself from adding ‘kiddo’ soon enough.

Rin showed his little teeth in a big smile. “Mom let me visit today! Said you’re feeling well enough! And I had to see if my shark is doing well, too!” He grinned as he found it lying by Sousuke and took it in his hands, giving it a hug.

“How are you feeling, Sousuke?” Rin’s mother asked him, sitting herself on the chair close to them.

“I am fine.” He answered her quickly, so used to the word. He wondered why she kept on asking, because he could tell from her face that she did not believe him anymore.

“You’re warm.” Rin put his small hand on his forehead, his face very serious.

“You, too.” Sousuke poked his nose, making him giggle. He did not want the kid to worry.

“When you’re going to start picking me up from school again?” Rin lay down by him, shark in his arms. His head was close to Sousuke’s, mouth in a pout.

“When they will let me out, so soon I think.” Sousuke turned on his side to pet his hair. “How is school going?”

“Boring.” Rin sighed theatrically. “And then mom’s boyfriend picks me up and he is fun but not as fun as you!”

“I am hurt.” They’ve heard Shiro’s voice as he walked inside, smiling.

“No, you’re fun, you’re just not as much fun!” Rin sat up and explained to him, trying to reason.

Shiro nodded, trying not to laugh.

“Did you tell yet?” He asked Rin’s mom, taking a chair to sit by her.

“Ah, not yet.” She seemed a little nervous.

Sousuke looked curiously at them, as Rin giggled and quickly covered his mouth showing him that he won’t tell.

“We have an offer for you,” she stated, finally looking at him.

“An offer?” he asked unsurely. Now he was starting to be worried. What if they did not want him to work anymore? Or work less? He needed money…

“Christmas is coming.” She smiled. “We want you to spend it with us.”

Sousuke blinked but before he could say anything Rin squeaked loudly and threw himself on his neck again.

“ISN’T COOL, SOU?!” He smiled so brightly they did not need a light in the room. “I asked mom if you can sleep with me, but she said you would get your own room.” He pouted again. Sousuke wondered when he started doing it so much. “But it will be cool! We will eat breakfast together and then go to school and I will watch you swimming!” He bent to whisper in his ear so no one else would hear. “And we can skyve together, too!”

Sousuke laughed, ignoring the shock for a moment.

“And then we will open presents together! On Christmas day! And maybe see the Santa Claus! That one night mom will probably let me sleep in your bed so we can wait for him together!” Rin was so excited he stood up to jump on the bed. His mother quickly caught him and made him sit.

“Rin, let him think and say something.” She shook her head.

“Think about what?” He grinned, completely not understanding the situation.

“Look, Rin, I can’t do that.” Sousuke smiled tiredly, feeling the strength leaving him, starting to feel sicker again. “I have my own house…” he added unsurely. To be fair he was not sure if there is anything to come back to. Or if it would be a good idea to come back. His father would be pissed seeing him after weeks of Sousuke being away, and he might end up on the street or hospital again.

“It’s okay, you can leave for a few days!”

“I have a dad, too…” He felt like a fool pretending it is important to spend Christmas together with his father. But that’s what people were doing, right? Christmas was for family. So what he never had proper Christmas, most of the time spent on the street because his father celebrated with his “friends”.

“Invite your dad to us, too!” Rin grinned.

“No.” Sousuke said quickly. Oh, God, no…

“Leave me with him for a moment, okay?” Rin’s mom took her kid in her arms and gave him to Shiro who walked out with a pouting Rin on his hip. He was not happy.

“Listen, Sousuke…” She sat by him, touching his cheek as he closed his eyes tiredly. She could tell he was exhausted, the fever rising again. “I really, really want you to stay with us at least for the Christmas time. I don’t want you to go back there.”

“I have to,” Sousuke whispered weakly.

“No, you do not.” She disagreed. “Please at least stay with us for the coldest time. Then we will think about something…”

“My dad…”

“You know it is not going to be a problem…” She said quietly, not wanting to say the truth, thinking he probably knows anyway. His father did not even look for him. His child disappeared and he did not even call the nearest hospital. It made her feel sick.

Sousuke did not deserve it. No child deserved such treatment.

When she saw him on the hospital bed looking lifeless, her heart stopped for a moment. He was in his swimming clothes, so she thought something happened at the pool. Then she heard that they had to pull him out because he collapsed and they couldn’t wake him up. He was so ill for a few days that they were worried he won’t pull through it. Malnourishment definitely did not help it. It was a constant fight where he was getting a little better, then slipping into high fever and problems with breathing over and over again, his body too weak to fight. Sometimes he woke up and even though they tried to keep him awake, he was collapsing moments later. Once she managed to keep his eyes on her for a few moments, his cheeks red from the fever, wheezing not breathing. Something broke in her when his eyes filled with tears. She spent the whole night close to him, petting his hair, stroking his cheek, or holding his hand. He was shivering, dreams filled with nightmares, tears running down his cheeks and she could do nothing but hold him, let him know she is there. She doubted he could remember it.

She realised then that she couldn’t keep on watching anymore. It was obvious there was no one waiting for him, caring for him. It was clear the kid was on his own and he could not be anymore. She did not care how well he learned to deal on his own, he shouldn’t have ever needed to learn.

She won’t let him suffer anymore.


	10. Home

“Hello.”

Sousuke looked up from the swimming magazine Rin brought him. He was lying on his side on the bed, blanket tight around him.

Rin’s mom was holding two bags and she was smiling when she put them on his bed.

“I have something for you.”

“For me?” He asked confused, lifting himself into a sitting position.

He kept the blanket around himself. Maybe it was a little stupid, he thought, you couldn’t possibly make yourself warm in advance. Once he will end up on the street, he will be cold again. But the feel of soft material making him warm was addicting. He spent so many days freezing before he ended up in the hospital that having a chance to keep himself warm now could not be wasted.

“Well, first, the doctor said you could go home today.” She sat at the end of the bed.

“Really?” He beamed. It was starting to be beyond boring, lying here every single day, looking at the ceiling.

He agreed to stay at Matsuokas for winter. But he was still afraid. He was ensured they would kick him out sooner rather than later. Not to mention he was practically asking for his father to find him and hurt him for running away.

“Yes. So I brought you something to wear.”

Sousuke blushed. Right. He was brought here with his swimming outfit on.

He unsurely opened the bag and reached for the clothes. He expected something used, cheap, so he paled when he saw new clothes. A tshirt, pair of jeans, hoodie, shoes, and a jacket. Even a new pair of gloves and a scarf.

He never had new clothes.

“I have money at home, I will give it back, I…” his voice was shaking. He wasn’t sure he had that much. Those clothes looked expensive.

“Sousuke, it’s a present.” She stroked his cheek. “I don’t want any money from you.”

He blinked back tears. He did not deserve everything she was doing for him.

*

His hands were shaking when he sat in the car and Rin’s mom started driving towards… home.

He really was supposed to have a home. Actual home. A warm home. Where no one would hurt him. Where he could talk with people. Eat with them. Just… be.

He was so scared he’d do something wrong. What if Rin will suddenly start hating him? What if they imagined something different but actually having him at home will make them realise he is only trouble?

Sousuke promised himself one thing.

If he will sense they do not want him anymore, he will leave.

“Is everything ok?”

He quickly nodded.

His hands were still shaking.

“There is a surprise waiting for you.” She smiled.

His nails dug into his skin.

“Sousuke,” she said quietly, putting her hand on his when they stopped on the red light. “Everything is going to be okay. Don’t worry. You have us now.”

He nodded, closing his eyes for a moment.

Everything is going to be alright, he repeated again and again.

*

Sousuke’s jaw dropped open and he had to put one hand on the car to steady himself when he noticed the massive glittery banner in front of the house saying “Welcome Home”.

Rin was standing with Shiro in front of the house and they were waving to them.

“Sousuke! Sou!” Rin ran to him, leaving little footsteps in the snow. He laughed happily when he jumped in Sousuke’s arms and hugged him tightly. “Welcome home!”

His voice died in his throat so he just returned the hug, kneeling there in the snow. Rin’s beanie with pink pom poms tickled his nose.

“You’re smiling.” Rin put his gloved hands on his cheeks. “I like when you’re smiling.” He beamed. “Looks pretty.”

Sousuke kissed the top of his head. “That’s all thanks to you.”

Rin grinned. He liked when Sousuke made him feel special.

“Come on, let’s get inside, it’s cold.” Rin’s mom was smiling, her heart warm when she looked at them.

Since she told Rin that Sousuke will live with them, Rin could barely sleep. He helped her and Shiro to prepare the room for Sousuke, jumping in excitement all the time like a little bunny. He was capable of spending a whole day telling them about all the things he would do with Sousuke, including swimming of course. He already informed them that they would have their secrets and only theirs. She did not even had a heart to tell him that Sousuke has friends his age and probably would like to spend some time with them, not only with a child.

She wasn’t sure about Sousuke’s friendships anyway. He was in a team, and they were concerned about him, called and visited him in the hospital, but it seemed swimming oriented, not go out together and have fun. It was possible though, that with his situation he simply pushed them away, too.

Sousuke picked Rin up and they slowly made their way inside.

“I will show you your room!” Rin said excited.

Sousuke quickly took his shoes off, nearly falling on his face when Rin caught his hand and pretty much ran upstairs, not letting go.

“Here, here!” He opened the door to the room right opposite to his. Sousuke stood in the doorway, Rin’s little hand in his.

The room looked warm and welcoming. There was a big window and underneath it a single bed with light blue sheets on. The walls were white, the wardrobe, desk and bed from lightwood. The carpet was creamy.

“Mommy said we won’t put anything on the walls so you can make the room yours.” Rin tugged at his hand so he kneeled to be face to face with him. “I can borrow you a few posters before you will get your own!” He smiled brightly.

“Maybe you can draw me something?” He asked, voice unsteady. He knew Rin loved drawing.

Rin jumped and ran to his room to start drawing, not sparing another look at them. Sousuke stopped himself from chuckling.

He stood up, quickly wiping his eyes. He did not even realise they were tearing up. Again. He stopped crying a long time ago, but since they showed him so much love and warmth, he was easily breaking whenever they did something for him. He wasn’t used to it. He wanted to show how much he appreciates every sweet gesture but he did not know how.

“Do you like it?” Rin’s mom put her hand on his shoulder.

“It’s amazing.” His voice cracked. “I don’t know how to say thank you.” He was so grateful. So grateful and he could do nothing that would show how much.

“I know you are, Sousuke.” She brushed her hand through his hair. She was so kind it hurt him because he was so afraid of betraying her trust and disappointing her. “By the way, Rin wasn’t lying. You can decorate this room as you wish, so it feels good.”

“No, I would not want you to need to clean after me…”

“Sousuke, stop that. Make this place your home. This room especially. Well…” She looked in Rin’s room direction where he was scribbling frantically, tongue a little out as he concentrated. “And a little Rin’s. I don’t think you will kick him out easily.”

He grinned, eyes on Rin. “How do you want me to take care of him now? I will do anything at any time.”

“Don’t worry about it, if you can pick him up from school like always that’s all I need. I will pay you like always, too.”

“No,” he quickly disagreed. Oh no, no. That was the only way he could show his gratefulness. “I can’t take money now! Please let me thank you in this way at least.”

“Okay, then I will pay you pocket money, as much as I would pay Rin if he was your age.”

“No…”

“Sousuke, you need to have some money at least. No discussion.”

He looked down.

“I can take him to school, too,” he offered quietly.

“I will drive you both to school in the morning.”

Sousuke’s eyes grew big, looking up in surprise at her.

“But you will probably need to wait an hour for him after school sometimes, because of his swimming lessons,” she added, finger on her chin, thinking.

“Of course!” At least he could be a little useful.

“And from what I gathered he will want you to swim with him, just so you know.” She laughed quietly, shaking her head.

“Yeah, I promised I would teach him.” Sousuke nodded.

“I of course will make sure that you can have your lessons without a problem, too, don’t worry. You just need to get better and then you can come back to training.” She looked at him. “I need to fatten you up a little.”

“I’m fine, really.” Sousuke self-consciously hugged himself. It was difficult to keep the weight normal for awhile.

“Future Olympians need to eat well.” Shiro showed up behind her and put his arm around her. “And since we’re talking about food… Dinner’s ready.”

“Fantastic. Rin, dinner!” She walked closer to his room and knocked on the frame.

“MOM! Later!”

“You can finish it for Sousuke later, he isn’t going anywhere.” She shook her head again.

Hearing it Rin turned on his chair and smiled big, little white teeth visible.

“Can we sleep in one bed today?!”

“RIN!”

Sousuke laughed when Rin ran up to him and jumped in his arms. He lifted him and took the drawing in his hand when Rin put his little cheek on his shoulder, finger pointing at the drawing.

“That’s us. Swimming.”

“I love it. I will get a frame tomorrow and put it on the wall, okay?” Sousuke smiled at him.

Rin grinned and kissed his cheek.


	11. Hair plaiting

They sat around a table together, Rin chattering, not letting anybody else speak. He was talking about school, his friends, swimming, and of course everything that he already had planned for his free time with Sousuke.

Sousuke was glad he was talking so much because everybody focused on Rin, not on his shaking hands. So much chatter and laughs, not only it was simply nice, but there was not a chance for awkwardness. They were so welcoming, but he wanted to make sure they wouldn’t regret having him and it was making him anxious.

God, he just did not want them to go to sleep thinking, “only a few days left and he will be gone”.

“Rin, Sousuke has his friends, trainings, and school, too. His free time is not fully yours.” Rin’s mom kissed his excited little head.

Rin pouted at Sousuke. “You’re not going to play with me?” His eyes filled with tears and chin shook.

“Of course I will.” Sousuke smiled and lifted his hand so they could fistbumb. Rin was beaming again already. “You will always be my priority.”

*

They have spent the day in the living room, watching movies and playing games. It was so peaceful it made Sousuke feel like he really belonged. Like it was his place. Like this is how it always was.

He wished there was a way to show those people how thankful he really was.

But all he could do was just being useful.

Sousuke starred at the wall the bath was attached to. He was sitting by the bath, chin on the edge, sleeves pulled up, one hand in the water. They were playing boats with Rin.

He jumped when Rin blew air in his ear. “Goodness, Rin!”

Rin giggled. “I thought you have fallen asleep!”

“Sorry. Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“About you needing to get out of the bath now. Time to sleep.”

Rin pouted but stood up and let Sousuke wrap him in a towel. He carried him out of the bathroom to his room and dressed in a pyjama.

“Can you plait my hair?”

Sousuke blinked. “What?”

“Plait my hair! So they will be curly tomorrow!”

“I have no idea how, Rin.”

He turned to the door, hearing a chuckle. It was Rin’s mom.

“I will teach you, he requests it every night now.”

Rin grinned as his mom plaited his hair, slowly so Sousuke could learn.

“Easy.” She smiled. “Now off to sleep, kid. You and Sousuke have school tomorrow.”

“Can Sousuke stay with me?” Rin smiled his best smile.

“No, Sousuke has his own room and has to rest, and he won’t do that with you chattering for the whole night.” She shook her head and Sousuke stood up so she could pull the covers over Rin, who pouted again. She covered the pout, lifting the covers right under his nose.

His nose scrunched up.

“I will see you tomorrow, okay?” Sousuke waved to him and he could see Rin failing to keep on acting angry. “Oi!” He tried to stop him but Rin threw the covers away and sat up to hug his middle. Sousuke brought his arms around him and kissed the top of his head. “Goodnight, Rin.”

“Sousuke?” he asked quietly.

“Yes?”

“Can I call you my brother now?” He looked up, eyes full of hope.

Sousuke opened his mouth and then closed it quickly.

He did not know what to say. Speechless, he put his eyes on Rin’s mom.

Was it okay with her?

She seemed surprised to see him asking. She smiled at them.

“Of course you can.”

Rin squeaked and hugged him even tighter. Sousuke wanted to give him the whole world.

“Goodnight, little brother.”

“Goodnight, big brother!” He happily lay himself down and covered with sheets. His mom kissed his forehead and soon he was deep asleep, peaceful, happy smile on his face.

*

Sousuke could not fall asleep.

Today his life completely changed.

He was lying on a bed in a warm house.

He had his own bed.

He had his own room.

He ate dinner with the whole family, sitting around a table.

He wasn’t hungry.

He wasn’t cold.

Rin was in the opposite room, sleeping peacefully.

He called him his big brother.

His parents were downstairs, getting ready to sleep.

It was so quiet.

He was so anxious, like something bad was supposed to happen. Not used to the peace.

Normally at this time he would be hiding in the corner on the floor, pretending to be asleep when he just came back from Matsuokas. After he cleaned the mess his father left as quickly as possible, house cold without the heating. He always opened the windows quickly, trying to get fresh air inside. Made the cold house even more freezing, but at least he could breath, the stench of alcohol and fags gone.

He touched the soft covers, hugged the pillow. Today instead he had a dinner with the whole family, chattering, then sat in a warm living room where TV was on and they played family games. Later he helped Rin get clean, laughing with him. They treated him like he was part of the family.

He even learned how to plait hair, who would have thought. Rin was something else, that’s for sure.

He took a warm bath, at home. Cleaned, at home. Not a quick shower at school.

Sousuke curled up. So this was what a normal life looked like? This is what his friends always had at home?

He felt weirdly restless, so he sat on the bed and looked out of the window.

Maybe he should open the window, but getting in cold air while they are paying for the heating…

And he was still weak, he did not want to get himself cold, he did not want them to deal with him sick again…

They would regret letting him stay then. They’d think he does not appreciate what they are constantly doing for him.

And…

He choked, hugging himself tight.

Breath in, breath out. Calm down.

He jumped startled when he heard little feet stomping towards his door. They opened slowly, and he looked up as a little person swiftly walked inside.

“Rin?”

A giggle and a second later his arms were full of a kid, his pink hair in his nose as he sat on his lap, arms around his neck.

“You were supposed to sleep.”

He looked up and grinned, showing his little white teeth. “Why are you not sleeping?”

“I was meant to.”

“I thought you would tell me a story!” He crawled to the top of the bed and put his head on the pillows.

Sousuke chuckled. He always told him a story before bed.

He moved Rin towards the wall, so he could lie by him and keep safe, blocking the chance for him to drop on the floor.

Hmm.

“Okay. Once upon a time, there was a boy…”

“Ohh, like me?”

“He was older and it was a long time ago in another country.”

“Oh I like travelling!”

“In those times, some kids were being trained to be warriors. And a king decided that he will be his warrior.”

“Who he fought with?”

“Other warriors.”

“Why?”

“Because people thought it was interesting to watch.”

“Yeah people always cheer when someone fights at school. I don’t like it.”

Sousuke smiled.

“There was also a prince. And once he went to watch this warrior.”

“Did he like it?”

“No, he really did not like people fighting. And he thought that warrior looked fun and he wanted to play with him instead of watching him fight with others.”

“Were those warriors hurting each other?”

“No, no, just pushing a little at each other. But the prince was very delicate and did not like people doing even that.”

“Like me!”

“Yep.”

“Did he plait his hair?”

Sousuke looked a little surprised at him. Rin curled up to his side, eyes a little sad. Sousuke turned to face him.

“He loved playing with his hair. He had pink hair, just like you. And he wore colourful shawls around his hair and jewellery. He loved making himself look pretty.”

“Some boys call me a girl,” Rin mumbled, hiding his face in his shirt. “Because mommy plaited my hair, and they say that’s girly… and that my hair is pink and only girls have pink hair. So I told mom to plait my hair before bed so I can have them curly the next day, not plaited. But they do not like that either…”

“Don’t listen to them.” He stroked his hair. “They’re little boys, and they’re stupid sometimes. There is nothing wrong with wanting to look pretty. You know what’s most important?”

He shook his little head and Sousuke felt him wiping his tears off with the front of Sousuke’s shirt.

“That you feel good. If you like to plait your hair, keep on plaiting them. Anything that makes you feel good, you should keep on doing. Ignore those who try to be mean, people are like this. Not everybody is happy because other people are. Some people are miserable and want others to be miserable, too.”

“That’s awful.”

“I know. This is why we ignore people like that. You know how it’s very easy to get back at them?”

“No…”

“Smiling. Not caring what they say. Being happy. They will give up quickly. And if they call you a girl, say they’re cooler than them.”

Rin smiled, showed him all his pretty teeth.

“That’s it.” Sousuke laughed quietly.

“Can you tell me rest of the story? What happened between the prince and the warrior?” He sniffed.

“I will tell you tomorrow, okay? Now go to sleep.”

Rin sighed but hugged him and closed his eyes. “Night, big brother.”

“Night, little brother.” He kissed the top of his head.

Sousuke put his chin at the top of his head, arm protectively around Rin, the other under his own pillow.

He stopped smiling, eyebrows furrowed, thinking.

Which brats dared to upset his little Rin?


End file.
